The seventeen years I lived in New York were very fruitful ones for me. With my paintings, sculptures, installations, and Happenings, I had managed to firmly establish Yayoi Kusama as a major and ever-growing presence in the world of avant-garde art. But of course that road had not been smooth. Every day had ben a whirlwind of apprehension, excitement, anxiety, and struggle. I veered violently between two extremes: the sense of fulfilment an artist gets from creating, and the fierce inner tension that fuels the creativity.